Sometimes Apologies Aren't Enough
by charactersreadthestorysfan
Summary: For some things there can be no forgiveness. Some things hurt too much, cut too deep. Chapter 1: Dumbledore; Chapter 2: Ron; Chapter 3: Snape
1. Sometime Apologies Aren't Enough

**Author's Note: I am still in the process of writing the next chapter of To Find a Family and Master of Death and What it Means (MoD) so they should be posted soon. I had this new plot idea but didn't think it would fit in my MoD story line so I chose to post in separately. Also I am not going to accept any more prompts for MoD for awhile, those who have already sent theirs, I will be working on them soon. Enjoy and please review!**

**Chapter 1: Sometimes Apologies Aren't Enough**

It was a celebratory feast at Hogwarts. Conversations were in abundance on the tables full of food and the castle was full of dark, earthy tones. It was a time of thanks and family. Tonight there were no Gryffindors or Slytherins, no house rivalries, because a boy had won the war; _a boy_ and the Slytherins were aware, perhaps better than anyone else, what he had to sacrifice to win it.

After all, Harry trusted, and was friends with, Severus Snape and it was no secret that Severus told his snakes everything. It was that faith that Severus had in all of his snakes that allowed Harry to trust them with information that he shared with no one else.

Tonight, though, was a time of friends, family, and warm memories. All the bad memories were pushed to the side to make room for the lull and calmness that only loved ones could provide.

-Line Break-

Dumbledore watches all of the festivities from his place at the head of the staff table. His beard neatly bound and wearing his sophisticated dove-gray robe that he only wears for special occasions. His blue, blue eyes peered over half-moon spectacles at his students and though he tried not to, his eyes zeroed in on the raven hair of his most prized student.

Harry was walking and laughing, _laughing_ and that was still a rare thing even a year and a half after Sirius' death, with his two best friends Draco and Hermione. Part of Dumbledore wondered what had happened to the original trio but he knew that Harry would never tell him now. Dumbledore kept his eyes on that raven hair and sparkling eyes, which were so striking today because they were normally dull with shadows, even as Severus and Minerva slipped into chairs beside him.

"How is he?" Minerva asks Dumbledore quietly. Severus and Minerva watch as Dumbledore closes his eyes with something not unlike pain, not unlike despair.

"I talked with him." Dumbledore says and does not elaborate. For how can he dare to put into words what has happened to that young, troubled boy?

"What did he say?" Severus demands because his first loyalty is no longer to Dumbledore, not after what he had done. He made that oath to Lilly to protect her son and once he discovered what Dumbledore intended to do he went straight to Harry and never looked back. He became a known protector and one of Harry's confidents and Severus hasn't been this happy in years.

So anything that threatens the boy, threatens _Harry_, must be eliminated.

Dumbledore sighs and suddenly he looks like a withered, grievanced old man. Minerva looks at him, someone she would have done anything for even half a year ago and feels no pity.

It is, after all, nothing less than he deserves after what he has done.

"He will not trust me," Dumbledore croaks brokenly, "Not ever again." Dumbledore doesn't mention how this is his second failure- and the worse of the two because it is his own fault and because, in the end, he _chose _to do this. The carelessness of temper and youth that caused the death of his beloved Arianna is nothing next to the cold, cruel manipulation he used on Harry.

'_A lamb for slaughter, indeed.' _He thinks grimly to himself thinking back to the words Serverus had spewed at him after he was informed of Dumbledore's best and worst plan. Best because it would defeat the darkest wizard the world had ever seen and worst because it willing sacrificed one the brightest, kindest children to ever be born to the Wizarding World.

Minerva and Severus look at him and their scowls have lessened but neither look sorry- they can't be; they won't be in light of what they know.

"Can you blame him?" Serverus asks honestly. Because he knows Dumbledore deserves this. And though Minerva aches to defend the Headmaster, she holds her tongue, because she knows what he has done.

Dumbledore looks at Harry and thinks of all the triumphs he has had- thanks to Ablus' pushes. He had made Harry a hero-_famous_. Just like Dumbledore himself. But looking at the shadow's in Harry's eyes, which he has learned to hide so well, Dumbledore is ashamed.

Sometimes, Dumbledore would look at Harry and the things he has accomplished, that even he himself would be hard pressed to achieve- and thinks he can be redeemed.

For tampering and always, _always_ making Harry go back to his own personal Hell, so Dumbledore could try to forge a more useful weapon in the flames of the Dursley's cruelties to better fight the dark that Dumbledore himself encouraged Harry to encounter.

But then he looks at Harry, a boy, a _child_ but at the same time neither because Harry has suffered a lot more than Albus thought anyone could live through and so Harry could never be considered a child, not ever again.

And wasn't that one of the saddest things of all?

"He won't forgive me now. But alas, Severus, I cannot know the future." Except in this case he does. And he knows he will never be forgiven.

Severus says nothing as he stands and glides down from the head table to where Harry is sitting. He bends, whispering into Harry's ear before he sweeps out the room, only pausing to glower at those who stared.

After Severus departs, Dumbledore stands and makes his speech and watches as the students and the rest of the teachers file out of the Great Hall to return to their rooms. In a few short minutes only Dumbledore and Minerva are left.

"Albus-stop. Stop your plans _now_. You have lost the trust of a boy who began by only trusting you. So stop interfering in other people's lives before you do something even worse. Because if your next 'genius plan' ends up going wrong, then just like the mistakes you made with Harry, you will only have yourself to blame." Then with an impressive flourish of her robes Minerva was gone as well.

-Line Break-

If anyone had looked into the Great Hall later that night they would have seen slow tears fall down the great Albus Dumbledore's cheeks as he wondered, 'Who was really the evil man in the end?'

The man who announced he was evil and was honest with his intentions or the man who hid behind a grandfatherly demeanor and manipulated the lives of others behind the scenes?


	2. The End of the Trio

**Authors Note: Here's the new chapter and the next istalation of MoD and what it means should be up by Monday at the latest! Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2: The End of the Trio**

Ronald Weasley was a multitude of things: a brother, a friend, a food lover, a red head, a dueler, funny, and sarcastic but perhaps his most defining trait was self-centeredness.

Yes, perhaps self-centeredness is the most accurate description of one Ronald Weasley.

He never grew out of it, never even tried and it ruined his life.

-Line break-

All he sees through the anger red haze in his eyes is Hermione and Harry sitting at the long, polished table laughing as Harry points to something in the old, leather book he's holding.

(This shouldn't bother him because while it isn't unusual to see Hermione laughing Harry was a different story. Harry had hardly laughed since the day Sirius – Harry's _UncleBrotherLastChanceofEscape – _died)

But all he felt was fury and with it the bubbling rage of words thought but never spoken. (Because some thoughts are too horrible to speak no matter how true)

Words Draco Malfoy had said in less explicit terms, because even Malfoy had lines he would never cross, sprang to Ronald's tongue. But even with the knowledge that even Harry's rival would never utter these following words Ron found he couldn't stop himself.

"You have no family." These words were worse than Malfoy's jibes about Harry's parents (because while Harry loved them, he never knew them) Ron had just denied Harry being a part of the Weasley family and that wasn't true, could never be true because Ron was still convinced that some of his brother's – the twins- loved Harry more than him.

All these thoughts passed in a heartbeat all centered around one thought- he had (finally) gone too far.

Harry reared back – almost falling out of his seat and throwing the book he had been showing Hermione about different battle strategies over his head in an instinctual action to move away from what was causing him pain.

He reared back like he had been sucker punched- and in a way he had.

Green eyes the color of emeralds, of clover, of bright summer days, and of the Avada Kedavra curse filled with hurt and clouded in disappointment.

Ron feels a brief flash of regret but forgets it just as quickly when a fist connects with his nose. He has a moment to think, 'this must be what Malfoy felt' before a snarling, livid Hermione Granger is in his face, the skin around her eyes crinkling as she glares and her untamable, bushy hair almost giving of sparks with how livid she is.

"How dare you." It's spoken quietly, with feeling. The amount of _DisappointmentDefeatBetrayl__**Expectation **_in her voice is worse than if she shouted, and twice as damning.

There is no compassion in those once gentle chocolate-brown eyes. Not for him. 'Never again' Hermione vows quietly to herself because she and Harry forgave Ron after the Triwizard Tournament but he has attacked Harry, her _brother_, twice and there is no going back becuae some things are beyond forgiveness.

Hermione turns to her little brother, the bleeding-heart who has to save everyone, and shudders at the despair and _hurt _darkening his eyes.

"You were my brother." Harry whispers in the heavy silence following Hermione's condemnation.

Harry's words cut Ron like the sharpest of blades, the darkest of curses.

Ron has no response so he turns and leaves, never looking back.

-Line Break-

Ronald never looks back and he never stops leaving no matter who it is he's leaving_hurting__**betraying**_.

(He had friends before Hogwarts but then he was friends with _Harry Potter _and the brightest witch of their year, their generation even and he never looked back, never talked to his old friends)

Loyalty was always Ronald Weasley's weak point and self-centered was always the best definition.


	3. Beyond the Dark and Beneath the Cloak

**Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews! They really inspire me to write new chapters.**

**Chapter 3: Beyond the Dark and Beneath the Cloak **

He had failed today.

_Failed_.

His oath, his promise, his lily-flower.

(_His_ because even if they were only friends he knew Lily more than James ever could)

He took pride in that but at the same time that twisted, hurt, broken piece of the heart he swore not to have, ached. For she had promised to be there, always.

And Severus, abused and broken as he was, believed her and she broke that promise, that oath (and doesn't that make them even? They've both broken oaths to each other now)

She had abandoned him and in doing so, in not listening to his explanations (because he, despite what he pretended, was a child. A bullied one at that, and the Marauders had worn his psyche down for _years_ and the moment he fights back, lashes out at those who abused him, tortured him, he was cast aside, _unwanted_) hurt him beyond measure, beyond comprehension.

He loves her still but there is an emotion, dark and greasy, in his gut- unnamable even to him, that he feels every time he thinks about how she chose _James Potter_ over him.

He doesn't hate James because he bullied him (he was too used to bullying for it to make that much of an impact anymore.) He hated James because he lived the life Severus should have, _would have_, had with Lily, if he hadn't had such a dark, messed-up life.

That is Snape's biggest secret. Not loving Lily, but _hating _her for choosing what was easy instead of him.

That is why he cannot forgive James Potter ('Lily,' his mind whispers. 'You mean Lily.') Not because of some relationship rejection (he could have forgiven that with time) but the fact that she abandoned him when she _knew_ what his life was like and never looked back (never listened).

And despite this, despite that unnamable thing he now knew was hate, he still tried to protect his Lily-flower's child. And it is in that oath he failed.

He feels calm (broken) inside when he gets the news about Harry Potter in the Hospital Wing. Everyone else panics but not Snape because everyone knew Severus Snape cared nothing for Harry Potter.

But.

That boy is as alone as he was for all that he is surrounded by people.

Some dark, disgusting part of Snape is glad he is suffering like his father (_mother_) made him suffer.

There is no fixing what he has done. No way to turn back the clock. He wouldn't want to anyway. He has learned from his (Lily's) mistakes.

His cloak sweeps out behind him as stops by the hospital bed where the boy, pale (too pale) and thin (thin enough so he looked so heartbreakingly _young_), lays.

Those eyes, when he looks at them are not Lily's, for they see the darkness and hurt in Snape's eyes and they _know_ in a way Snape would never wish upon anyone.

And Severus thinks back to when he was Sev. and the tinkling of laughter that eventually faded away and vowed (swore) that this boy would at least have him (as insignificant as it was).

He stared into those emerald orbs and said, "You'll be out of here soon." But Harry, like all lost boys, knew how to see what lay beneath the surface, to see the truth of things. And so he understood what Snape was really saying: _Sorry, I'm Sorry. Let me help you. __**Please**_.

-Line Break-

It didn't solve everything immediately, not even close. Not after years of animosity and dislike between them. It didn't make them start getting along like best friends, or even friends in general.

But it was a start and they did try.

And months (years really) down the road they could go anywhere and still know that there was at least one person who cared about them, at least one person who would listen.

Severus Snape loved Lily; but not enough to forgive her.

He broke an oath and tried to fix it. Lily ran away (always ran away unless she had no other options)


End file.
